did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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