In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize