"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
