Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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