How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
