is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
