"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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