Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize