Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
