You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
