How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
