I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
