You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
