I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
