His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
