They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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