Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
