he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
