Why are handjobs necessary in class?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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