Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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