I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
