Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
