you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
