Christians are straight up FREAKS
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
