That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
even my farts smell like vagina
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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