I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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