remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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