I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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