I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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