Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize