guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
