It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize