your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
