I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
