I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
