Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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