Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
