I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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