Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
