There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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