Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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