You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This baby is an asshole
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
