I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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