I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize