Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
