just tell him i said nine months
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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