I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize