Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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