Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
