And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
