butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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