The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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