2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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