Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
