Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
