i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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