Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
