what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
