I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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