I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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