well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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