Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
