There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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