Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize