Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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