i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
