Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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