Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize