yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i've created a new STD.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
