I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
