I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
