Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
