Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
