Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
