NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
