I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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