i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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