i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
